Wednesday, 10 February 2016

I am going up in weight - noooo!!!

I am trying to figure out what is happening at the moment. I am getting back to walking for at least an hour or more daily, with only 1 day off a week. I am using my kettle dumbbell to get my arms smaller again. I am tracking my food / glasses of water each day. I am journalling. I joined a Facebook page for WLS people in New Zealand.

 I am still going up and I am freaking out. I am finding out that I am eating some empty calories so am attempting to change that each day, one day at a time. I don't care what they say food can be an addiction to some people, me included. I love my fruit especially bananas. Most fruit is high in sugars though. Peanut butter is another thing I have daily. I won't buy it this week, see how I do.

My mother is noted that I am wearing more flowy clothes again and commented on it. I had moved to more shape conforming clothes as I lost weight but they are not so comfortable at the moment. It is lovely and hot this summer but that can make you sweat if your clothes are too tight. It is maddening as I went through this op to have a good permanent weight loss and regain my younger body weight or at least under 100 kgs and as close to 70 kgs as I could get. I managed to get to 99.2 kgs. Some of it is the food that my daughter brings into the house. Some of it is me wanting to taste that food.

I need to go back to how I ate when I first had this op: smaller portions, no daily puddings, fruit/vegetables in controlled amounts and more protein(eaten first). Hide my mother's lollies so I don't dip as I go past. I snorted at a person who was going on about the pizza etc they were still eating after their LGS and queried why they bothered. I knew it would come back to bite me when I did it.I don't eat pizza and fast food myself, but I have been fooling myself about the amount of so called good, non-processed food that I am eating.

I must work out what I am going to eat the day before and stick to that. I will walk daily and do other forms of exercise also. MyFitnessPal needs to be entered as I eat, I think, or at the end of the day if I note it elsewhere. I think if I manage to get my drinks up to 10 glasses that may help. Documenting how many I have had is getting me up to 8 glasses most days now.

The top photos are today, the left hand lower one was early 2015, the right hand one is November 2015.  I know we dealt with shifting etc and I comfort ate but I need to learn and practice other means of dealing with my emotions. I don't want or need this weight.

These are affirmations I am using to get back into the right headspace again. So, no more whining. The positive things that have happened since my last post:

  • I finished a small crochet blanket that will be given to some-one in need to help them stay warm in cool weather
  • I attended a Creative Writing Workshop at my local library which even though it concentrated on poetry (not good at that) gave me more insight into writing
  • The person in charge of the workshop asked if I was interested in being a local contact for other weekend workshops (YES)
  • I met some lovely people at that workshop and some are coming to our Tuesday writing group (woohoo)
  • This week's writing group went well and one new member has done a Copy-editing and proofreading course already.  
  • The people in the Facebook page referenced above are lovely people to communicate with

Synchronicity in action again.
                                 The next time I blog I will record a weight decrease.